Are you nervous to declutter with your kids?
- would be a battle, he wouldn’t want to let anything go
- would be quicker and easier to do it myself
- he would get distracted.
But, I took the opportunity one morning to declutter his books WITH him. We spent around 15 minutes and got rid of 14 books!
Now, this wasn’t something that happened overnight. I thought about how other families could also get these results. In this blog, I’m going to take you through my 5 steps to declutter with your kids.
Why declutter with your kids?
Ever since my little one was tiny I’ve involved him in tidy up time. Be it rolling a ball towards me, or collecting blocks. It’s something we’ve always done together as a team.
Yet, when it came to decluttering, I still felt nervous. My instinct was to wait until he was at daycare, and declutter when he wasn’t around.
But I stopped myself.
When I was a kid, my mum would declutter my stuff without telling me. I would think that I had lost something and feel guilty about it. Later, I would find out that I hadn’t lost it, that in fact she had given it away to someone else. As you can imagine, I felt angry and resentful and disrespected that she hadn’t asked me first.
I know that when you declutter WITH your kids it will:
- Keep your kids occupied
- Strengthen your relationship with them
- and teach them valuable life skills.
Not to mention helping you create a calmer, happier home you all love to spend time in!
Step 1: Talk to your kids about the benefits of decluttering
Before you do any decluttering it’s important to talk to your kids about the benefits.
Look for opportunities during the day, or start a conversation around the dinner table.
Ask what they love about your home and what they don’t like. They may love their room, but wish they had space to set-up their hot wheels tracks. Or they might not like being nagged to tidy up all the time.
- Having less stuff means we can have more space to play.
- If we had less books, it would be easier to find the one you’re looking for.
- With less stuff, it’s quicker and easier to tidy up at the end of the day.
- There is less chance of breaking things or losing things when you have less to look after.
There have been various studies around the benefits of fewer toys, including increased focus and creativity. For further reading take a look at this article from psychology today.
Step 2: Decluttering by example
Now that you’ve talked about the benefits of decluttering. The next step is to show them how to declutter.
You can’t expect someone else to get rid of things if you’re not prepared to do it yourself. You need to be a role model and teach them the steps of decluttering.
So, get them involved in your own decluttering jobs.
- Ask their opinion.
- Get them to help with sorting like-with-like or matching the tupperware lids.
- They can go through the sock pile, pair them up and get rid of any with holes in.
- Get them to take before and after pics.
At the end, review the photos together and talk about how you feel now you’re done. Now you can quickly and easily find something to wear in the morning. You know that everything fits, is in good condition and you feel good in it.
Step 3: Create an opportunity for connection
Kids want to be with us, doesn’t matter what we’re doing. So why not turn a boring decluttering job into a fun activity.
- Put on a fashion show to sort through your wardrobe
- Sit down and go through the photo’s with your kids.
- Remember to get them involved, decide together what photo’s to declutter.
- And, get crafty with the discarded items.
Decluttering can often have a negative association. So re-frame it into a project you do together as a team.
Step 4: Decluttering the kid's stuff
The next step is to get started on actually decluttering the kid’s stuff. And this step is all about timing and flexibility.
Pick the right time. If they’ve refused breakfast, won’t get dressed and won’t brush their teeth, then it’s not a good time to declutter their toys.
Lower your expectations. Don’t expect to declutter the entire room in one sitting. You know your own child and their attention span. Start small. Even if it’s 5 or 10 minutes. You can build up over time.
Pick an easy category. Something they’re not attached to. It could be clothes that don’t fit or broken items.
Stop before it ends in tears. If you’re getting frustrated, or they’re getting resistant. Stop and try again another time.
Step 5: Build trust and let them decide
It’s important to make decluttering with your kids a positive experience. Ask them questions and offer suggestions, but let them decide.
If they want to keep that plastic McDonald’s toy, then let them keep it. If you force them to get rid of something, it could make them more attached to items for fear of it being taken away. You can always try again another time.
Just as important, is to let them get rid of stuff. Often it’s us that are attached to an item. Maybe it was a gift from an important person, or something from your own childhood. Respect their decision. By all means keep the item for yourself, but take it out of their room and their space.
If you’re overriding all their decisions, it won’t be a good experience and they won’t want to do it again.
What to do with the decluttered items
With the decluttered items, I normally suggest getting them out of the house as soon as possible. But, when it comes to decluttering with your kids, it’s important to remember that they’re still learning.
Store the items for a couple of weeks. Pack them up and put them out of the way so they can’t go through them. But, if they do have regrets, allow them to take something back. Put in some rules so they don’t take everything back. You can limit the number of items they take out, or have them replace an item with something else from their room.
If all else fails, you can do toy rotation. You get all the benefits of decluttering, but don’t actually get rid of stuff. Even better, create a regular practice by decluttering every time you rotate the toys.
Declutter with your kids regularly
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